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Star Wars Spotting

Ewan McGregor's opening speech from The Phantom Menace (allegedly):

(Based on Ewan McGregor's opening speech in the film 'Trainspotting'. For those that didn't know Ewan plays a major character in 'Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace'.)

"Choose the force.
Choose a side, choose being a Jedi Knight, choose a teacher, choose a fucking big death star, choose star destroyers, blasters, tie fighters and a light sabre.
Choose a black suit, helmet and boots.
Choose a loan from Jabba the Hut.
Choose a philosophy.
Choose an Emperor.
Choose a planet with matching moon.
Choose a three planet system in the Dromeda system and fucking enslave them.
Choose the Rebels and wondering why the fuck you are kneeling by the Emperor on a Sunday morning.
Choose sitting next to that Emperor watching whole planets being enslaved in mind-controlling, force-crushing battles, stuffing fucking replacement parts into your body.

Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable death star, nothing more than a dictator to the selfish, evil fucked up brats who fight for you.
Choose a future.
Choose the Force.

I chose not to choose the Force.
I chose something else...
I chose....
The Dark side"

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