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Shorter Ones

Two silkworms were in a race.
They ended up in a tie.

A robber broke into the police station and stole all the toilet seats.
The police don't have anything to go on.

Egotist: One who is me-deep in conversation.

Why won't melons elope in Las Vegas?
They cantaloupe

How did the pig with laryngitis feel?
Dis-gruntled.

The fish secretary lodged herself in a pipe and could no longer type.
Her doctor said, "This is a clear case of 'Carp in tunnel' syndrome."

Hangover: The wrath of grapes.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.
He sidles up to the bartender and screams:
"I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw!"

What did the raccoon say in his will?
"Leave it to Beaver."

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