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Microsoft's Product Announcement Template...

MICROSOFT DELAYS [PRODUCT NAME] Microsoft announced today that [PRODUCT NAME], originally scheduled to ship on [OLD RELEASE DATE], won't ship until [NEW RELEASE DATE], the [NUMBER OF SCHEDULE SLIPS] such slip in the beleaguered [PRODUCT NAME] project. "We won't ship [PRODUCT NAME] until our customers tell us its ready," explained [PRODUCT MANAGER NAME], one of Microsoft's army of product managers. [PRODUCT MANAGER NAME], who has probably never kissed a girl, also added, "We're working concurrently on Service Pack 1 for [PRODUCT NAME], which will ship two months after [PRODUCT NAME], and we're on track to slip that schedule only three times!" [PRODUCT MANAGER NAME] closed by explaining that Chewbacca was a Wookie and shouldn't live on Endor with a bunch of Ewoks anyway . . . WinInfo Daily UPDATE was unable to ascertain exactly what this meant, but was left with the insatiable desire to buy [PRODUCT NAME] the day it ships. People close to the company tell me that Microsoft slipped the schedule [PRODUCT NAME] "pretty much out of habit."

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