jardMail » Men & Women » Women's Manifesto

Women's Manifesto

A few pointers for all you ladies out there:

• Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'
• If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it.
• Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one.
• Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say during the adverts.
• Only wearing your new lingerie once does not send the message that you need more. It tells us lingerie is a bad investment.
• Please don't drive when you're not driving.
• Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your little stories are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the punchline.
• If you want us to take out the garbage, you have to let us pack the car.
• When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' will do.
• What do you mean, 'leering?' She's obstructing my view.
• When I'm turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off-ramp, saying 'This is our exit' is not strictly necessary.
• When you're not around, I belch so loudly that I even appall myself.
• The temperature in the cave will be my responsibility. It will be slightly to moderately cooler than you want it.
• Match Of The Day starts at 10:45 P.M. This is an excellent time for you to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer, or talk to your sister.
• Is it too much to ask to have the bra match the underwear?
• If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?
• Two hot dogs and a beer at a football match do, in fact, constitute going out to dinner.
• You probably don't want to know what we're thinking about.
• Silence does not need to be filled.
• It's in neither your interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
• No, you can't have the remote control.

	Search For Another Joke	Or Jump Straight To: