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The Perfect Day According To...

HER

08:45 - Wake up to hugs and kisses

09:00 - 5 pounds lighter on the scale

09:30 - Light breakfast

11:00 - Sunbathe

12:30 - Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe

13:45 - Shopping

14:30 - Run into husband's ex - notice she's gained 30lbs.

15:00 - Facial, massage, nap

19:30 - Candlelight dinner for two and dancing

22:00 - Make love

23:30 - Pillow talk in his big strong arms

HIM

10:00 - Wake up

10:02 - SEX

10:10 - Big Breakfast

11:30 - Drive up coast in Ferrari with gorgeous babe with big hooters

14:15 - Enormous lunch with BEER

15:15 - SEX

15:25 - Play sports with the guys

16:30 - Drink BEER with the guys

18:30 - Meet Claudia Schiffer

18:40 - SEX

18:50 - Huge dinner, more BEER

20:00 - Fall asleep with BEER watching TV while dreaming of having SEX with Claudia Shiffer

23:00 - Full on, get down, gorilla SEX, more BEER

23:10 - Sleep

02:30 - Fart

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