jardMail » Men & Women » It's Good To Be A Man

It's Good To Be A Man

• Your last name stays put.
• The garage is all yours.
• Wedding plans take care of themselves.
• Chocolate is just another snack.
• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
• Car mechanics tell you the truth.
• You don't give a rat's ass if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.
• The world is your urinal.
• You never have to drive to another petrol station because this one's just too icky looking.
• Same work... more pay.
• Wrinkles add character.
• Wedding Dress £2000; Tux rental £100.
• People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
• The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
• New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
• One mood, ALL the time.
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
• You know stuff about tanks.
• A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
• You can open all your own jars.
• You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
• You can kill your own food.
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
• Your underwear is £4.95 for a three-pack.
• If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
• Everything on your face stays its original colour.
• You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
• You don't have to clean your flat if the maid is coming.
• You can quietly watch a game with your mate for hours without ever thinking "He's mad at me."
• You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
• You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
• You don't have to shave below your neck.
• Your belly usually hides your big hips.
• One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
• You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife or your teeth.
• You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
• Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
• You are not expected to know the names of more than five colours.

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