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Send Us Mail

Please send us some jardMail

If you've received something funny in the mail that isn't already on this site we'd love it if you forwarded it on to us. All you have to do is fill out the form below and click the send button.

Alternatively you could email us. If you are going to email us directly please take a moment to read the rules below, or your mail may be deleted without even being read.

The Rules

If you would like your email to be read and not just deleted, then please read and follow the following rules. Most of it is normal Nettiquette (and if you don't know what that means then think of it as a combination of common sense and politeness) and the rest is a combination of things that annoy me, and ways to protect myself against viruses and the like.

1. No unsolicited commercial, or bulk emails. No spam. Ever. We have a pretty sophisticated AI spam filtering system running on our mail box, so there's no point in even sending the spam our way.
   1. You may well have USD50,000,000 of entirely (il)legitimately gained money stored in a bank account in (Nigeria|South Africa|Milton Keynes) but I won't help you get it out of the country even if you offer me 40% after expenses.
2. No HTML, RTF, MSRTF, or any other funny format mails. If my plain text email reader can't read it easily, then neither will I. The easiest way to ensure that your email is read is to send it in plain text, with no attachments.
3. There's no point in sending me pornographic material. It won't be published on this site no matter how funny it is (although we might end up mailing it around to a few mates and getting us all in trouble with our bosses).
4. If the jardMail team don't understand a joke's humour, or don't find it funny we won't include it here. There's no point in complaining or resending it, it's our site and we publish what we want.
5. Don't write emails all in CAPITAL LETTERS this is called SHOUTING and is not only very rude, but also much harder to read.
6. Write words out in full, and please make some attempt to spell them properly. That means don't use "r" when you mean "are", "u" when you mean "you", "2" when you mean "two", "to" or "too" and so on. Emails written in "l33t" will not be translated.
7. If you're replying to, or forwarding on a mail, please keep the original subject line intact, and leave the original message quoted in the mail using carets (>) or something similar. We send and receive loads of messages a day, and don't remember the exact contents of every one, so a little something to jog the memory helps us work out what you're on about.
8. If you're expecting me to reply to you then write from your email address. I will reply to the address that my mail software tells me to, not the one hidden away in some little PS at the bottom of your mail.
9. Special rules when sending attachments:
   1. The only attachments that we want to receive are joke email attachments being submitted to this site.
   2. Scan the file with a reputable, up to date virus checker before you send it, please.
   3. No attachments over 100kb in size. This mail box only has a finite size, and if we get too many attachments in one day it can overflow. If you do have a really good file that is over the size limit, then please email us a full description, including it's file size, and we will get back to you with an alternate address to send it to.
   4. If sending any attachment other than a picture file please describe what it does, how, and whether or not there is any potential harm to the recipient in the main body of the email.
10. Any email received is assumed to be for publication either on this site or any other within the jard network (and we reserve the right to edit, parody or ridicule it when published), unless you specifically inform us that your mail is not for publication.
11. Please check the disclaimer and your own common sense for any other guidelines.
12. We don't have a big links page, just a few selected links spread throughout the site. Your site is going to have to be very special to join them, so please think twice before asking for a link.
13. Finally a big thanks to all of you who have sent us mail, without you this site would not have been possible.

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